Self-care also improves our lives because it allows us to pay more attention to our body. There are plenty of religious and spiritual ancient teachings that have told us how important our body is. That our body is a “temple” self -care allows us the ability to give attention to our body which is best for our mental, emotional, and physical health.
All of us know that we have to take breaks in our day to take care of ourselves. “Selfcare is healthcare”, the saying goes. At the same time, we know that when you are a busy leader with enormous responsibility on your shoulders, it’s so easy to prioritize the urgent demands of work over the important requirements of self-care. How do busy entrepreneurs and leaders create space to properly take care of themselves? What are the self-care routines of successful entrepreneurs and business leaders? In this interview series, we are talking to busy and successful entrepreneurs, business leaders, and civic leaders who can discuss their self-care practices and self-care routines. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Khana Kerns.
Khana Kerns is a’ Beauty Priestess’, global instructor, and thought-leader in women’s mysteries and spiritual education. She is the CEO of Khana Empire and the creator of ‘Feminine Play Beauty Magic System a membership course, community, and training platform which coaches over-worked, overwhelmed, and women who self-identify as “overly masculine” through feminine style or sensation-based coaching. She educates women on how to use ancient female spiritual practices ‘Beauty Magic’ to unravel nonmedically induced anxiety and depression from their bodies, balance their work-play life, expand pleasure so that they can feel confident, have better relationships, and feel more alive.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! It is an honor. Our readers would love to learn more about your personal background. Can you please share with our readers your personal backstory; What has brought you to this point in your life?
Itis my honor as well to do this with you. Thank you for having me. Well, my backstory has so many twists and turns that have led me to this point in my life, honestly, we would be here all day if I told it all. However, I will say in short that what has brought me to this point in my life would be: Pain. A lot of silent internal pain and a desperate search for beauty. As humans I feel that we all encounter pain at some points in our life and if we are strong and wise, and most of us are, we will overcome the pains that life gives us and we grow and stretch ourselves. In moments in which we are too weak, which is okay too to an extent, we may allow the pain to debilitate us, keep us stuck, in sadness, depressed in our energy, etc. For me throughout, my life I dealt with a lot of pain silently. At that time, I was too prideful to let others know how I was really feeling. How much pain that I was in How stressed, overworked, and overwhelmed I was. So, I walked through the world with this mask on. A mask of strength like everything was okay. After a while the pain got the best of me. It took me through a 10-year walking depression where I felt that I lost myself, care of myself, what made me beautiful, and numb to even knowing what even felt beautiful in my life- I could no longer feel. During that time, I found I could no longer mask who and what I was or how I felt otherwise it was going to complete stagnate my life. I was led on this beautiful and equally painful spiritual journey into myself and rediscovering not only my own internal and external beauty but finding beauty in my world again.
What is your “why” behind what you do? What fuels you?
I learned beauty and wisdom through my life’s experiences of pain and learning to overcome it. That is what led me into where I am at this point in my life, as well as, discovering my purpose and passion in the world to become a Priestess of Beauty. The biggest catalyst to my” why” was at the beginning of my 10-year depression. I had a huge tower moment in my life where everything came crashing down. I had just had a baby, my son was snatched from me illegally, the business that I had been growing was suddenly overnight ripped out from under my feet and my income came to an end, and the man that I thought I would marry suddenly got an opportunity that would cause him to move out and away which later he was never heard from again. All of this was happening at the same time and I was not taking it as well as I looked on the outside. I had to find my way back to rediscovering who I was. I know I am not the only one. Through finding my way back to myself I worked with and spoke with women and discovered women especially have a lot of painful experiences that they don’t always get to talk about or let others know about and most especially business women and executive women. LOL. We know how to hide and mask pain at the most debilitating times of our lives continue to be mothers, lovers, and friends, with false smiles on our faces. So, in my own journey to healing I discovered that there were things that I knew and learned along the way that was unique to the market and could help a lot of women. Knowing that I able to help women to recalibrate their lives and their confidence is what fuels me most. Because I understand what it is like to lose yourself as a woman and especially your self-care. There were times during my depressed period that I could barely get up out of the bed and I neglected so much of my self-care to the point of embarrassment.
How do you define success? Can you please explain what you mean from a personal anecdote?
Success for me means devotion. Without devotion there really isn’t much of anything that you can create in your life. There is an African proverb which states: “A woman’s polite devotion is her greatest beauty”. That is so true for me. I once had a client who was quite challenging client to say the least. She knew it and I did too. I had never worked with someone so rebellious prior to her. Sometimes admittedly, I wanted to give up on her. She evoked feelings in me no other client had. I even found myself to be rude with her at times but I stayed committed to the work with her. She had been single for a long time. Her desire to make her life more beautiful was to find a committed relationship, but she herself was all over the place. She was wild, unhinged at times, and definitely not your classic “long term relationship material” but I saw a beauty in her that I was sure that someone who had the capacity to love her could see. After quite a few ‘tussles’ and ‘tears’, we eventually reached a place of balance. She stayed committed to her work and I did too. She is now married to a man who absolutely adores her and accepts her for who she is. They live a beautiful life and I am really proud of her devotion to herself and her growth. There is such wisdom in that proverb. If you want to create beauty for yourself and your life you will have to be devoted to obtaining it. So yes, a woman’s devotion is indeed will always lead her to her greatest beauty and manifestations I believe, I just don’t know how “polite” we have to be along the way. LOL
What is the role of a growth mindset in your success? Can you please share 3 mindset mantras that keep you motivated, sane, and propel you forward?
A growth mindset comes very naturally for me and plays a huge role in my work and my content creations especially. A lot of my classes and content come from information that I sort of channel. My work is spiritual in nature so you don’t always find concepts that I have found in books or readily available modern written material. So, when I create classes and content, I have to be open to my creativity and my belief in myself that the information that I am presenting is something measurable and can be used in reality for my customers lives, which can make me doubt myself at times. Fortunately, I am a natural believer in miracles, magic, and the miraculous! I think I can learn to do anything if I set my mind to it to do and practice and I will often launch course and workshops with knees trembling and afraid. I believe in the whimsical magic of life. I see beauty in most things, even the painful and uncomfortable it helps me remain open to possibilities and have the faith that I need to present my work and “magic” into the world. I can be quite naïve in such notions at times, but exploring my creativity, facing my fears, and learning new and excited skills is what makes life fun and exciting for me!
“I attract miracles in my life” “I have enough” “My Love, I believe in you”
You are by all accounts a very successful person. How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I have changed a lot of women’s lives through my work in teaching them feminine arts and beauty magic. Women who were once anxious and afraid to live in their deepest truths have come out of hiding themselves. Women who once found themselves to be ugly or unworthy of love, are finding partners and finding beauty within themselves and outside of themselves through my courses and material. I have liberated so many women from the prison of living in their own minds and shown them the keys to living life out loud on their terms. To me that is going to bring a lot of goodness to the world. Women are major pillars in our society. When they don’t feel good, when they aren’t being themselves, when they are overworked and stressed, everyone — our friends, our lovers and our children especially suffer. So, to me helping women to find beauty and pleasure in their lives is bringing the ultimate service I can think to bring into the world. I also have charity projects that I work on as well. Right now, I am working on raising funding for an orphanage and school in West Africa to renovate and improve their living conditions and help them with books and school materials.
Can you share a mistake or failure which you now appreciate, and which has taught you a valuable lesson?
Well, I have had my fair share of mistakes and failures but one that stands out to me was one that happened most recently about a year ago. I had a retreat that I had sold out and planned for an entire year. I created this retreat to treat women who had been overwhelmed and overworked and to give them the ultimate beauty experience in Morocco. Everything was planned, spa times, bath house, nail appointments, fine dining, a photoshoot, and a glam camp experience in the middle of the Sahara along with camel trekking and ATVing. So much work went into that project and due to Covid-19 close to 29 days before we were meant to arrive, Morocco changed its vaccination policies and rules which left more than half of the women unable to go. It was such a blow for me. I felt myself wanting to even slip into a depression, however, I used my own content and work and was able to get myself back together. I planned another trip, totally different location, a more exotic location and experience! Well, wouldn’t you know it after those plans were finalized after nearly 4 months or so, after the cancellation of the old retreat, Morocco reopened its borders! Lol. My lesson in all of that was learning about “flow” and “allowing” life sometimes to do its little dance that it needs to do. If you just show up ready and prepared to do your part ultimately you will lead you exactly where you need to be.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
The 3-character traits that are most instrumental to my success would definitely be Creativity, Honesty (Truth), and Confidence. Creativity because a lot of my work comes seemingly ‘from the ethers’. The ideas that I have the notions that I have about life are not ones in which in modern society we have paid much attention to so this gives me a leverage in the way that while many in my field (Feminine Embodiment Coaching) are using similar frameworks, content, and language to market, I feel that is my creativity to use beauty and magic as elements to my framework has allowed me to stand out from amongst the crowd in what others would call an ‘oversaturated market’. To me creativity keeps you ahead of the game. Honesty plays a major part in my success in the way that so much pressure that we tend to put on ourselves to have things “perfect” has been eliminated for me, just by my being honest. I am honest with users of my platform about who I am, what I don’t have right yet, when there are issues beyond my control, and what is to be expected. Being honest takes a lot of pressure from you and it opens you up to receive so much help! There have been so many times that a customer on my membership course has led me to other avenues that I could use for our system, just because I was willing to be open and honest with them and let them know what is going on! Finally, confidence is a major key for my success in the way that many of us think of confidence as something that you have to be born with or have naturally. However, confidence is a skill that can be learned and practiced! The more that you practice something the better you become. Understanding this has allowed me to do the things that I have been most afraid to do anyway because I understand after the wobbly legs of fear will come practice and after consistent practice there is mastery.
What are some of the most interesting or exciting new projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?
I plan to launch a training for women who are interested in becoming Beauty Magic Priestesses at the beginning of the year 2023 (fingers crossed). This training will teach deeper (esoteric) type understandings around beauty and magic, how to use self-care as sacred prayer, and how to work with their feminine energy and female essence as a priestess of beauty. I feel that there are some women who are called to work with Beauty as a divine purpose and Path or they are destined to become messengers of Beauty to the world. Maybe they feel it but don’t know it all the way yet. Often these sorts of women are naturally drawn to beautiful things, they themselves may have had battles with their own external beauty, they enjoy harmony and balance in life and feel out of balance when they are not around beauty including beautiful people or things. I think this training will help to activate these women into their own beauty magic and hopefully into their divine life purpose!
OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the core focus of our interview about Self-Care. Let’s start with a basic definition so that we are all on the same page. What does self-care mean to you?
Self-care to me means self-attention. That you are willing and committed to giving yourself attention no matter what is happening around you in your life. Self-attention equates to taking a dedicated interest in yourself and concern for yourself.
As a successful leader with an intense schedule, what do you do to prioritize self-care, and carve out regular time to make self-care part of your routine?
Fortunately for me, because I work with Beauty magic a lot of my work schedule is about prioritizing self-care but sometimes, I have to be aware that I don’t go into the content creating, marketing, and business side of things and forget about my routines. For me creating ritual out of my self-care is what helps me to make self-care a part of my routine. For me the word or thought of “routine” doesn’t seem as magical and whimsical as creating a devotion to a ritual. So, I am more apt to light candles, and put on music, light resin, and turn my self-care time into a magically spiritual experience.
Will you please share with our readers 3 of your daily, or frequent self-care habits?
I’d recommend a little beauty magic habit that I refer to as purposeful enchantments in your day. This is where you consciously decide to add a little magic in your life with the clear intention to do something that will make you feel magical and intentional. I recommend doing this through ritualizing your self-care habits. Meaning not just go through them but find a creative way to make them have purpose and meaning. I recommend three. The first self-attention ritual that can be done close to daily is a morning cleansing ritual. This doesn’t mean that you have to do an extensive clean but opening the windows, with the intention that you are allowing cleansing (refreshed) energy to come in to your home, making your bed, and picking up clothes or trash from the floors and or counters is a great ritual to help welcome cleansing and renewed energy while simultaneously beautifying your home!
The second self-interest ritual that I would recommend would be to incorporate a sound ritual in your routine. This is where you intentionally play music throughout your day that will help your mood to feel good or get prepared for your day. You may also decide at some points to take interest in yourself by observing how you feel. What emotions come up? Do you feel sad, scared, anxious, happy? Sound is a powerful tool to help us in taking interest in our emotional self-care. Our emotions tell us a lot so take time to pay attention to how you are feeling. Feel free to do prayers or affirmations while doing this sound ritual as well!
The final self-care practice I would recommend is a daily dance ritual! Light candles or incense, turn down the lights or put on a strobe light (if it is medically healthy for you to do so) and let yourself FREE! You can spend 5–20 minutes in this daily routine. With all of the responsibilities that we have in our lives, careers, and businesses sometimes we can become uptight and we don’t even know it! This dance ritual can be used to invite more fun, joy, freedom and flexibility in your life so do it with that intention.
This is the main question of our interview. Based on your own experiences or research can you please share 5 ways that taking time for self-care will improve our lives?
We currently live during a time where there is heightened stimulation. We have lots of lights and sounds, technology, phone calls, business, meeting, and lots of rushing energy around us on a consistent basis. I feel that many of us in modern times are anxious beyond the point of realization at times because we put so much more focus on others giving our advices and opinions, more so than on ourselves. To me this makes many of us crave self-care.
Self-care improves our lives in many ways:
Sometimes we learn a great deal from the opposite, from a contrast. Can you please share a few ways that NOT taking time for self-care can harm our lives?
Not taking time for self-care has so many harmful possibilities. The first and most glaring concern is for health. That’s a huge part of why self-care is important. Also, it is important I feel for our relationships. For me, I am really big on relationships. Especially the emotional stability of the people within our relationships and having emotionally stable families. When we do not care for ourselves, it can make us cranky in our personal lives with friends, lovers, and other family members creating riffs or separation. Not taking care of yourself affects your dating life and your options for dating because let’s face it most healthy people desire partners who do self-care well. It affects our hygiene. When we don’t have good hygiene, it pushes people away. Even the random stranger can be turned off or turned away by basic lack of self-care habits and that can make us feel really bad about ourselves and our personal lives. When our personal life is not going well, we already know how much that affects our mind and emotions when we are trying to work or create new ideas or businesses. Lack of self-care can prevent us from feeling the confidence we need to put ourselves or our work out in the world.
What would you tell someone who says they do not have time or finances to support a regular wellness routine?
Oh darling, there are so many home remedies and free things that you can do to support a wellness routine! When I began exploring my own beauty magic, it was at a time where finances were low. I took free walks in the park, I used kitchen herbs, sugar, salts, and scrubs for skin-care. I explored my back yard and learned how to forage certain flowers and herbs to make tinctures and oils. Of course, you want to consult your doctor before doing any of this, but the sky is the limit when it comes to finding creatively free ideas for self-wellness.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them :-)
I am open to meeting anyone who finds me or my work interesting and may want to sit down with me! Annndd… I once saw a feature that you all did with Athena Perrakis, CEO of Sage Goddess. I have been gifted some of her business items by clients quite often and would love to sit down with her for lunch sometime. I think she is pretty magical 😉
What is the best way for our readers to continue to follow your work online?
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher, and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness, and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at [email protected]. To schedule a free consultation, click here.